


beneath the surface of us

by saunatonttu



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Academy days, Gen, Pre-Timeskip, general spoilers for their backstories and relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 03:00:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20056936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saunatonttu/pseuds/saunatonttu
Summary: Felix finds Dimitri training by himself at night. Of course, he joins in, though not happily.





	beneath the surface of us

**Author's Note:**

> Not quite finished with BL route, but I /needed/ to write them.

The nighttime monastery wasn’t exactly dead silent, but definitely more so than during the day. Less people around, too, which made it Felix’s favorite time. Asides from the guards, who really shouldn’t be chattering as much as they did, the halls lacked their usual liveliness. Felix’s own footsteps echoed off the walls, and the usual tension began to leave his shoulders as he approached the training grounds.

Not one guard was surprised to see him walk but, although a few of them sighed about the kids these days staying up far too late. Felix ignored all such nonsense, only going through the practice for tonight in his mind. _Surely this will bring me an inch closer to that professor of ours._

Upon arrival, Felix quickly saw (and heard) that he hadn’t been the only one itching to put in some late-night training, and from the heavy footsteps alone he could recognize the person before even approaching the open space and catching sight of familiar blue cape. Felix’s jaw clenched. So much for a relaxing time by himself, it seemed.

Still, he slowed his steps but didn’t turn around and leave like he was tempted to. But, be that as it may, watching Dimitri – or what was left of him – practice with his lance had never proven out to be a waste of time. The boar’s movements fluid and strong, his grip on the lance unrelenting, and baby blue eyes staring off towards an enemy only he could see – well, it would all be very captivating if one were to forget everything else about the young man.

Felix’s eyes followed his once-upon-a-time best friend, a knot of irritation growing in the spot of his chest where his heart should have been. Before meeting here, at the Officers Academy, the last he had seen him was—

“Felix.” Dimitri’s movements came to a halt, and with that, the noise around them died down. The oil lamps lit around the training grounds offered enough light for Felix to see the blue of Dimitri’s eyes when he turned to look at him directly with a slight smile on his lips.

_Irritating._

Because it was all false, this charade the boar prince put up on for the world. No one else saw through it, did they? How foolish.

“Boar,” Felix acknowledged. Loathsome as it was to have to look at that face (and realize just what he had lost along with his brother), his hands itched for a practice sword to slam against the boar’s lance. He had never tired of practicing with Dimitri, and perhaps that was the worst of it all.

What was he, if not the most pathetic of them all?

“Again with the late-night training, I see,” he said before Dimitri could. Just for good measure, Felix scowled so Dimitri wouldn’t assume he was concerned. He wasn’t, in reality, but Dimitri didn’t need even the mere idea of it. “Someone’s going to get the idea that you don’t sleep at all if you keep this up.”

“One might say that about you as well, Felix.” Dimitri’s voice rang with amusement, seemingly warm, and his mouth skewed into a wider smile. Even that, however, did not hide the dark rings under his eyes, a sign of many ill-slept nights. “You, especially, get so cranky without sleep. It would be best for us all if you did sleep.”

“Not much of a difference, according to most.” Felix eyed at the flush on the other’s face and neck. A familiar sight, from years past but also from recent times. “Been here for quite a while, haven’t you, boar?”

Dimitri’s expression wavered just enough for Felix to catch it. Well, it was a face he used to watch pretty often. The curse of recognizing its changes came from years-long friendship and his father obsessively dragging Felix along to the capital to check up on the prince. One particular memory tugged at Felix’s mind, but he pushed it away.

(“I… had a nightmare. Can I…?”)

The past was the past, and that Dimitri wasn’t there anymore. It was hard to not feel bitter about it, but Felix could handle the cards he was dealt, even if they were unfair.

“Yes,” Dimitri finally admitted with a soft sigh and a shake of his head. This time, the smile was sad. “Sleep just wouldn’t come for me tonight.”

Felix knew that feeling all too well, but even so, he only scowled and shrugged as he gave in and went to pick up a training sword. “I’m surprised your servant wasn’t there to sing you a lullaby.”

Dimitri sighed as Felix went through the swords before carefully selecting one. “You shouldn’t speak of him that way,” he said. “He may coddle me, but not to that extent.”

_Yeah, right._ Felix sneered as he turned around and walked down to the ring. The sand crunched nicely beneath his feet as he held up the wooden sword. The familiarity of it was comforting, and could lull him into paying less mind to the feelings seeing the boar prince evoked. Clenching his hands around the hilt, Felix muttered, “No more words.”

Dimitri’s expression shifted into one of relief as his limbs resettled into their former position. “Come, then,” he said, and just like many times before, Felix answered his call by stepping up and swinging his sword. Wood clashed against wood, and Dimitri’s eyes lit up as Felix’s brows furrowed.

Pushing Dimitri back had always been like trying to move huge rocks all on one’s own, as the prince was sturdy and wide and as strong as any beast that a person could think to name. But Felix wasn’t weak himself, and he knew this particular beast better than most.

Not everything had to do with brute strength alone, but often it helped – and tonight, it helped Dimitri to knock the sword off Felix’s grip. The wooden weapon landed in the sand a couple steps away, and then only the sounds of their breaths remained.

It was all so familiar Felix could have laughed. Everything was different now from before, and yet…

“Felix?” Dimitri’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts, and so he lifted his eyes to see the other wiping sweat off his face with the blue cape. Talk about manners, Felix thought. The dark circles under the dull blue eyes seemed even darker now. “Thank you.”

Felix blinked without comprehension. “Are you going mad? I haven’t done anything worth thanking for. Not for you.”

Dimitri’s smile was closer to reaching his eyes than what Felix had seen in a while. “You always say that, you know. When you’re trying to pretend you don’t do anything for other people.”

Sometimes, _sometimes_ Felix forgot that him knowing Dimitri so well also meant that Dimitri knew him. Ah, the curses of childhood friendships that couldn’t be shrugged off.

Felix went to pick up the wooden sword, if only to tear his eyes away from the friend he didn’t know how to not snarl at anymore. But, blast it all, he couldn’t stay away either, hard as he tried.

“It must be nice to think you’re always in the right,” he ended up saying as he put the sword away and tried not to think useless things. He kept his face away from Dimitri’s view just in case. “I simply enjoy training, even if it is with a creature like you.”

Dimitri sighed, but didn’t deny his words. Not for a few seconds, at least, and then his voice was but a gentle whisper. “You always find a way to make it seem like the good things you do are a coincidence. But… I will not press it further.”

“Keep your thoughts to yourself,” Felix said, irritation at Dimitri calling him out seeping in. It was almost as bad as Sylvain—no, worse than even Sylvain’s habits.

“When it comes to paying a sincere compliment to a friend,” Dimitri said, “no, I will not.”

This was what played through Felix’s mind as he walked through the monastery back towards the dormitory area and eventually into his room on the second floor. It was for the best he hadn’t seen the face the boar had made when he’d said such a thing, for it would bring back things Felix would much rather not think of, but the words themselves were bad enough.

That night, falling asleep in the monastery’s bed, Felix’s mind brought back a younger Dimitri, a soft face with a soft smile that reached his eyes and golden hair that reached his shoulders.

_Useless to think about it,_ Felix had kept telling himself the past two years. _That person is dead._

Being so close to Dimitri Blaiddyd again, physically at least, had eroded his conviction. _The Dimitri I knew might as well be dead,_ he told himself, and yet he found himself challenging Dimitri and Dimitri challenging him in return. In training, at least. Outside it, Felix’s antagonistic remarks went unchallenged.

It was no use clinging to a past memory – he _knew_ that – but somehow he couldn’t help himself.

Maybe he was just that loyal to a fault. Maybe he was waiting for a chance to drag the old Dimitri back from wherever the hell he was hiding inside that façade of perfect smiles and princely attitude. Maybe he was—

Whatever it was that he was doing, he ought to stop.

Clinging to the ghosts of the past had never worked out for anyone.


End file.
